Foster care is one of the most rewarding things that a person could do. Looking after children through a foster program is a great way to have a positive impact on a young person’s life, but here are some challenges that can arise from time to time. These struggles are generally unavoidable in most situations, but there is nothing wrong with becoming equipped to deal with them appropriately. Here are some of the struggles of looking after foster children… and how to overcome them
• Saying goodbye
Saying goodbye to foster children can be hard. Since foster care is generally temporary, kids are quite often moved around for various reasons which is not only sometimes a stressful experience for the kids, but it can often be quite distressing for the foster parents. After all, you’ve invested all of this time into building a relationship with this child and giving them the best chance at life, only to find out that they are moving on. This can be especially hard as further contact is not encouraged once the child has moved homes, but you just need to remember that if you tried your best, that is all that matters. Saying goodbye can be difficult, but you need to understand that the impact you had on that child was potentially huge.
• Bad behaviour
Foster kids have quite often come from negative backgrounds, whether that has been an abusive household or another complicated issue. Many of these children do not have suitable coping mechanisms, which can often come out in a series of negative behaviours. This can be difficult, especially when trying to get along with them and encouraging them to act in a respectful manner. One of the best ways to get through them is to continuously show them love, but still making sure that you outlay rules and pull them up when their behaviour is far from acceptable. However, some kids have experienced great trauma and require professional help to sort out these problems. At the end of the day, there is only so much you can do, and seeking help from a professional can be the best outcome.
• Caring for multiple kids
Maybe you already have kids of your own, or maybe you are taking on multiple foster kids. Either way, it can be a challenge to ensure that everyone is getting along and nobody is left out. A common issue is that the biological children begin to receive the least amount of attention whilst the ones in foster care seem to get as much as they want/need. If this is becoming a problem, make sure that you make each one of your kids are feeling valued. Value does not exactly need to be demonstrated through materialism (gifts, etc). Making your kids feel equally loved can be as simple as telling them that they are loved, asking them how they are, going on a walk together or showing interest in one of their hobbies. If you are struggling to evenly share your attention between the kids in your care, don’t be afraid to reach out for support. You are never in this alone and there are many resources as well as people available to give you a helping hand when needed.
• Keeping the children occupied
Kids do require stimulation and entertainment, which can be achieved in many different ways. Whether this is going to the park, playing with friends or using a colouring book, there are various ways to keep the children occupied. If there are no toys to play with or not a whole lot to do, chances are that they will become extremely bored or just result to watching television. A bit of screen time here and there can be good, but too much all of the time is not the best for developing brain function. Get to know the kids in your care spend time with them and work out their own personal interests and hobbies. Show an interest in the things they love, as well encouraging them in their pursuit of it all.
If you are a foster carer and are beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed, we encourage you to not get too stressed about it. Make sure to find yourself some support, but just remember that foster care is tricky. Like raising any child, there is a fair share of ups and downs. Remind yourself that you are doing your best to give this child the best opportunity of life, and if there are still challenges do not beat yourself up over it. Things take time, so make sure to hold onto that.
